Crossroads.

I always wanted to be a Medical Doctor, just like hundreds of Nigerian children from the ’90s generation who sauntered into the sciences. If you were not aspiring to be a Medical Doctor, you had to be an engineer. Life had different plans.

Would I say life? Or should I say my leverage weighed differently?

Some gentle years in life now, and I understand the underworkings of life’s output a bit, to know that even though it isn’t an excuse for complacency, but hardwork doesn’t guarantee success.

You can do everything right - clap for others, wait your turn, show up every day and still not make it.

It is humbling.

I ruminated over this for many months & two core factors that guarantee clocking out with the life you want.

* Luck.
* Leverage.

There’s something about being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.

Positioning. It is the representation of luck.

So, should I say “life happened” and crushed my Medical Degree dreams, or did I not have leverage? The leverage of economically advantaged parents, the leverage of being born in places where the odds weigh meritocratically for you to realise your dreams - the leverage and luxury of failing forward? So, life definitely did not happen to me.

Today, my journey has panned differently.

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The transition from that life of uncertainty to a place today, where I can project calculated outcomes with respect to my life culminated a lot of crossroads, which is the motivation behind my letter to you today.

What happens when you don’t know what's next to do, career-wise? When you don’t know if it is the right choice to take that degree?

What do you do at a crossroad?

Crossroads are uncomfortable, but by design, they are directional. They come from a path you are used to, then point to a lot of possible directional paths.

Your instinct is to accelerate, to do more, take more action, “fix it immediately,” but history shows that some of the greatest pivots came from people who paused.

In 1954, James Baldwin left the United States for Paris, not because he had a detailed plan, but because the noise around him wouldn’t let him hear himself. That journey, principled in stepping back, gave the world classics like Giovanni’s Room and The Fire Next Time.

I know you are about to murmur, “this does not apply to me, he had the luxury to even travel 😂”, but the principle is consistent. It has always worked for me.

When you hit a crossroad, your first action is to PAUSE.

There is a lot of instructional strength in doing nothing, consciously, because crossroads require this same intentional slowing.

Take a week or two to sit with your desires without forcing clarity. Journal every day, and this time not to solve, but to observe.

Ask yourself: What patterns in my life give me energy? Which ones drain me? Pen down every observation.

These observations provide data points that inform what direction you’d plunge from the crossroad.

If there is any fact I know about crossroads, it is that - when you are exiting that season of documenting and observing your life patterns, to take the next step, crossroads always present two options:

- the path of comfort,
- the path of growth.

The path of comfort presents options similar to what you are used to, mostly stepdowns or compensations - anything to “keep you going”. It is always the safe decision, the simulation of your comfort zone.

Then there is the path of growth, the path of friction - if your goal is to make the most out of that season, always move towards friction, not against it. There is more risk, possible embarrassments, higher tension, and weigthier emotional stress, but the eventual reward is compounding.

If you have a contemplation about taking a degree because you are 35, 5 years from now, you will be 40, regardless, with or without a degree.

When you’re stuck, ask:

• Which option scares me but excites me?

• Which option only comforts me temporarily?

• Which option expands my future opportunities, even if it’s harder now?

Growth often hides inside discomfort.

So I spoke earlier about my introspection about how “life happening to me” was not the reason my medical degree did not happen at first strike in my life - how it was the proportionality of leverage, let me do a brief segue and say:

One of the soundbites during that season, when you are at a crossroad, is to ideate how to build and compound your leverage. This should happen regardless of the decision you make from being at that crossroads. You need leverage to accelerate, to pursue, to scale - regardless of discipline, career or decision. Leverage is the ultimate compounding factor.

I intend to publish another issue that focuses on building leverage, but let me leave this here:
One of the practical ways to build leverage is to pick one skill that is useful across industries; it could be writing, data analysis, storytelling, sales, coding, or public speaking.

Spend 90 days improving it intentionally, not casually. Document your learning publicly on Twitter, LinkedIn, Medium, and Substack. Visibility multiplies leverage.

Historically, people like Malcolm X built leverage in the most unlikely places, like prison, through reading, discipline, and perspective.

Leverage is not always inherited; sometimes it’s forged, and leverage can be compounded.

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Now, this is the most important piece:

A crossroad is not meant to be a life commitment but a laboratory to design experiments - to do boldly, what you wouldn’t do naturally in your comfort zone.

Initially, I advised that the first thing you do is a “thinking” phase, but now you are testing, all the uncomfortable paths presented to you from the season you paused, testing them in cycles.

• 30 days exploring a skill class.

• 60 days volunteering or interning part-time.

• 90 days shadowing someone in a field you admire.

Marie Curie didn’t wake up deciding to pioneer radioactivity. She was experimental, curious, and willing to go where the work led. That curiosity changed science forever.

A central piece of this process is association. Who and what you associate with.

An evergreen Yoruba saying goes thus: “If a child washes his hands clean, he will eat with elders.”

This quote is actually about proximity. Your environment is often a stronger predictor of your outcome than your intention.

Look around:

• Who are you learning from?

• Who challenges your excuses?

• Who forces you to think bigger?

• Who has walked the path you want to walk?

You don’t need a mentor in a suit; sometimes your mentor is a friend who is ahead of you by two steps - and if you have not figured out the right association, you are better off running alone.

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Crossroads are a reinvention. Many people fear it because they are afraid they would lose a part of themselves they are already comfortable with. Your comfort slows you down; crossroads present an evolution that shows you part of yourself you did not know existed. It should excite you.

You are allowed to grieve the dreams you outgrew.

You are allowed to release visions that no longer fit your current reality.

You are allowed to change your mind at 28, 35, 50, or 62.

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So, what do you do at a crossroads?

You slow down.

You audit your leverage.

You build new ones.

You embrace friction.

You run experiments.

You surround yourself wisely.

And you allow yourself to evolve.

Nelson Mandela studied law, became a political prisoner, and then led a nation. Reinvention is not weakness; it is wisdom.